


Stuck With U

by moonqueerdom



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Multi, Pandemic - Freeform, Polyamory, Quarantine, Stress Baking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Jean Moreau, a bit of plants and tiktok too, a bit of trans Neil Josten, kerejean, kerejean being oblivious, kinda domestic?, that's it idk how to tag, there's some sad shit too but you can totally handle it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonqueerdom/pseuds/moonqueerdom
Summary: Jeremy and Jean go to Denver and stay at Kevin's apartment, but then the quarantine starts and they are forced to spend much more time than they expected in the city. And at Kevin's apartment.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	Stuck With U

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's me again.
> 
> First of all, today is my birthday!! I told my [beta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabtoledo/profile) that I was going to post some fanfic today — just for the sake of posting something at my birthday — so here's the result, I managed to finish this one in time.
> 
> I had this idea about a month ago and I really like Kerejean, so I thought "why not?". And I got stuck in writing because I don't know exactly a "list of activities to do while in quarantine", mine is basically writing fanfic, reading fanfic and scrolling through tiktok. But I liked the result, after all. I hope you like it too.
> 
> _tw: insecurity, mention of Jean and Kevin's traumas while in the Ravens, anxiety, alcoholism, mention of suicide, mention of physical and psychological abuse, beginnings of anxiety attacks. I think this is it, if there is anything else, please let me know._

This was supposed to be just a quick trip to Denver, where Jeremy and Jean were going to check some team contracts and go back home to California. They would do this together because Jeremy had promised to take care of Jean, and it wasn't just because they finished college that he would let that promise go. Plus, Jean seemed more than satisfied with the opportunity to continue playing with Jeremy, so they were quite resolved about it.  


And, of course, there was Kevin.

Kevin Day had been living in Denver since he ended his time at Palmetto State University and was hired by the  _ Wicked Cougars _ , Denver's top professional Exy team. When he heard that both Jeremy and Jean were going to spend time in the city, he thought there could be no problem in welcoming them to his apartment for a while to catch up, and so they all did just that.

The place where Kevin lived was incredibly fancy, at the same time that it was also incredibly lonely. It was spacious but not too much, and each room was well used with the perfect organization of the area. A guest bedroom and a suite, guest bathroom, kitchen, living room, office, dining room, and, of course, because he was  _ Kevin Day _ , a small gym.

On the day that Jeremy and Jean arrived, Kevin was strangely in a good mood and received them playfully. But then, he had never been anything but that with the other two men, and there was no reason to change now.

“There is a guest room where you can stay. It has two twin beds that I had to separate because Andrew and Neil dragged them both close in the last time they were here,” Kevin told them. “Completely unnecessary, if you want to know my opinion. They are both small and could easily fit into a single bed.”

“Day, just shut up. I have a very heavy suitcase in hand and it is the only thing preventing me from crumpling you into a hug, so if you can help me get rid of it…” Jeremy smiled through the exertion of dragging his bag upstairs.

Kevin most certainly blushed and nodded, before closing the door and asking them to follow him.

Once they were well established, most of the time was spent in general and routine conversations, and that was how they all spent days and full hours without realizing it.

And, yeah, if Jean and Jeremy ended up extending their stay to spend more time with Kevin, that was just for the three of them to know and any other person to guess.

The problem of that was that was when the outbreak of the pandemic stood directly between Jeremy and Jean's way back to California.

They were already skeptical about staying at Kevin's apartment at the beginning of the isolation, and then, as its duration continued to increase, it gave the three some long discussions about whether it was fair or not to stay there for so long.

In the end, with most of the airports closed and bus lines cut down, it wasn't like they had much choice but to stay with Kevin, who also didn't have any protest against it, and so they did.

It was strange how the routines of both of them three fit together and they quickly got used to the rhythm.

Jeremy was definitely a morning person. He would wake up early every day and stretch out on the balcony for an hour, without even taking off his pajamas or eating a thing.

Jean wasn't up  _ so early _ , but he was up in just enough time for Jeremy to always wait for him comfortably for breakfast.

And Kevin would always sleep through the morning.

Except for  _ that day _ , when he had the worst possible night's sleep after getting too much exercise so that his muscles were all burning and his bones hurting. He shifted on the mattress more than he actually slept, and at some point, after the sun had already risen, he just gave up and left the room for coffee.

Kevin turned on the smart glass and watched as the glass walls in his room became transparent just before he left. He was as cranky as possible and completely frustrated by the sleepless night, mentally cursing his body for being so weak.

Rubbing his eyes and yawning, Kevin froze under the door frame just as he started to enter the kitchen.

Jeremy was cutting something on the cutting board on the counter while Jean was sitting on the island in the corner of the room, wearing his glasses — which Kevin loved because it would always highlight the man's gray eyes and it kinda hide the number three tattooed on his cheek — and reading something on the electronic device he used to read digital books.

They weren't talking, just cohabiting the same space and doing their respective activities, and it was so calm that for a moment Kevin forgot about the sleepless night.

“Did we wake you up?” Jean asked because he was the first to see him standing at the entrance.

His accent was  _ heavy _ . For some reason, this always happened at that moment when he had just woken up, although, unfortunately, Kevin has had little chance of witnessing this. Yet.

“Who are you talking to?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow, before turning and finally seeing Kevin too. “Oh, good morning. This is surprising.”

“Morning. No, you didn't wake me up.”

He walked over to the coffee maker and was pleased to see that a coffee pot was already being made.

“You look tired,” a cautious voice came from behind him. Not only that, but the phrase was also said in Japanese.  _ Damn, Kevin hadn't heard that language in a long time _ , and he knew it could only be Jean speaking.

“Are we talking in Japanese now?” Kevin said, also changing the language.

“Jeremy has been learning French, and I don't know what you think of him knowing that you slept badly. Or didn't sleep at all. That would certainly result in a wave of concern on his part.”

“Hey, I can still make my name out of this conversation even though you are speaking a language I have no idea about,” Jeremy pointed a sliced ham at them and shook his head. “It is not cool to talk about others behind their back.”

Kevin and Jean had a dialogue through looks and Kevin sighed.

“Jean was just wondering why I didn't sleep,” he said, returning to English. “And then he said he asked in Japanese because you know a bit of French.”

“ _ Il a raison, mon bonbon, _ ” Jeremy smiled proudly and it made him miss the precious moment when both Kevin and Jean stood still and stared at him with bright, wide eyes. “What do you think? I just said that he is right and called Kevin  _ ‘my candy’ _ .”

“We know,” the other two said in unison.

Smiling, Jeremy went back to cooking whatever it was. “So, Day... What kept you up at night?”

“Muscle pain. Very intense, I couldn't find a comfortable sleeping position,” he said, going to sit near where Jean was.

“I told you you were taking too much yesterday,” Jeremy murmured. “Jean is great with massages, ask him if you need to. And I'm amazing at making sweets to relieve stress.”

Kevin dismissed that idea immediately, although he didn't let it show in any way.

It would be stupid if he allowed himself that since he already knew how he felt about Jean and how that would end up bad for both of them. They spent years together before Kevin left the Ravens, so it’s obvious that at some point he had kinda noticed that he hadn’t only fraternal feelings towards the french, even though he still took some sweet time to accept that.

But Riko would kill them — Kevin feared it was in the literal sense for Jean — so eventually, he just became good enough at hiding what he felt.

He was still doing that nowadays.

Of course, they were out of the Ravens now and Riko had been dead for a long time, but Jean had reassembled his entire life and was doing it so well, Kevin didn't want to and wouldn't interfere with that.

Plus, there was the connection between Jeremy and Jean, which he highly doubted was only platonic. A few days of living with them were enough to confirm this. They were clearly not in a relationship, but it was obvious that the only reason for this was the lack of a conversation between the two, which were still oblivious to what they mutually felt for each other.

And because Kevin was  _ dumb _ in its purest form, he had managed to develop those feelings not only for Jean but also for Jeremy.

Jeremy was sweet when Kevin was completely bitter, open when he was confused, decisive and fearless when he was irresolute and fearful. How could he, in his right mind, not feel surrendered by Jeremy Knox? Around him, all Kevin wanted to do was protect, care, and appreciate.

And it all confused him like hell.

That was why just viewing a scenario where Jeremy carefully fed him while Jean offered him a massage was reason enough for insanity. Kevin feared what would happen if that  _ did happen _ .

He wouldn't say any of that out loud, though.

“I just need coffee and I'll be fine,” Kevin replied.

“After breakfast, you will fill the bathtub with warm water and prepare a bath of geranium, lavender, and orange. They are just great for relaxing your muscles. Ten minutes of soaking, at least, and you're going to get a massage,” Jean recited everything without even looking up from what he was reading.

Kevin swallowed.

“I don't have any of that in here.”

“Jeremy does. He always goes around with oils and coarse salt.”

“It's true,” Jeremy smiled with satisfaction.

“What if I refuse?” Kevin tried.

“I'm going to lock up your gym and hide the key for who knows how long,” Jean said as if it didn't matter.

Kevin stammered a few times trying to protest but gave up when Jean did nothing but give him a serious look.

“Know what? I could use some vodka too,” he said, finally.

Jeremy slapped the spatula on his hand and puffed out his cheeks in protest when he tried to reach for a bottle of vodka. It was fucking cute, unfortunately.

“If you get anywhere near that bottle I will cut your balls,” Jeremy warned, pointing his index finger at him. When Kevin stepped back, he smiled amiably and went back to saying, “Great, now that we're settled, what do you guys think about doing yoga daily?”

“It might be a good idea,  _ mon chéri. _ ”

Jeremy smiled and nodded, moving to mix whatever was in the pot. He chattered happily about how they were going to wake up at the same time each day, take fifteen minutes to  _ fully wake up _ , practice yoga for at least an hour, and then finally go for breakfast.

“Feel free to use the TV in the living room if you need to,” Kevin shrugged.

“‘ _ You’ _ my ass, Day.  _ We _ 're going to participate.  _ The three of us _ ,” Jeremy didn't mind discussing more than that. “It’s a tender substitute for your physical activities and perfect for some moments of calm and relaxation.”

“Jer, I'm not going to wake up at eight in the morning for this. For nothing, really.”

“If I was asking you to play exy at  _ six in the morning _ , you would go.”

“No, this is a lie.”

“It isn't,” Jean said.

“Hey,” Kevin complained, at the same time that Jeremy was nodding disgruntled. Sighing heavily and rolling his eyes, Kevin said, “Change the time to half-past nine and I can  _ think _ about it.”

All of a sudden, Jeremy jumped up and grabbed Kevin's face to kiss him on the cheek. The latter was still for some time and his face was burning completely from the place where Jeremy's lips had touched. 

He was so fucked up.

“We are incredible, Jean,  _ mon français _ ,” he boasted, all but smug. “We are the ones and only  _ Kevin Day's charmers _ .”

And Kevin laughed at the irony because,  _ huh, _ he had no idea of how much that was actually true.

When they finished breakfast, for which Jeremy made an omelet and poured a few cups of coffee, Jean almost carried Kevin in his arm to the bathroom and slammed him into the tub.

It wasn't bad, being immersed in pleasant, aromatic water, and he really felt his muscles slowly relax; the ten minutes flew by, then fifteen, twenty, until Jeremy knocked on the door and told him not to sleep in the bath. __

_ This _ wasn’t the biggest problem though.

The biggest and  _ real _ problem was Jean's soft, careful hands sliding with the help of oils over Kevin's skin. They were firm touches and he was terribly lost in each one of them. Jeremy was right, Jean is  _ great _ with massages, completely and incredibly perfect. However, just as he had hoped and feared, Kevin's mind quickly strayed to quick snippets in what those same hands would be combing his hair while they quietly watched a movie, or stroking his cheeks before kissing him slowly, sliding across his arms until their hands intertwined, tracing circles around his chest while they were cuddling and trying to sleep... So many alternatives, and none of them attainable.

And, as soon as Jean started moving  _ down _ Kevin's back, until he reached the bottom of it, well... The thoughts followed him down too.

What about those hands going over his body before pulling him ferociously for a hot kiss, massaging his ass before leaving a slap that would make him whine, putting two fingers in—

Kevin squirmed.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jean asked, all soft and concerned.

“I— Um— I'm fine.”

_ Not fucking true. Who am I? Neil ‘I’m Fine’ Josten? _ He had an erection growing between his legs, so  _ that _ was what he truly was feeling.

_ Fucking amazing. _

_ That was exactly what he needed right now, obviously. _

Involuntarily, Kevin started to blush violently and thanked the universe very much for being in his own bed, instead of somewhere else.

“Um, is it okay if I accidentally fall asleep here? It's just that you're  _ really good _ with your hands and— I mean… I'm tired. Just that,” he corrected himself too quickly.

Jean chuckled. “Well, thanks. You can sleep, of course. Actually, I think we  _ expect _ you to do that.”

“Okay.”

They remained silent and at some point, Kevin pretended that he had fallen asleep because that was the easiest way he could think of to deal with his slightly sore cock pressed against the bedsheets.

But  _ thank god _ he was awake because the moment Jean finished and seemed satisfied with his work, he patted Kevin on the back of the neck and whispered, “ _ Repose-toi, mon trésor. _ ”

And left after gently squeezing his neck.

Kevin, of course, had a much harder time sleeping.

_ Rest, my treasure. _

~

Jean was slowly regretting going to Denver in the first place.

It wasn’t easy to deal with Jeremy during all their years at the university, playing together and everything else. He had admired the disposition, joy, courage, kindness, altruism, motivation, and every other piece of that man from the first moment he laid eyes on him.

During Jean's first four months at USC and playing with the Trojans, he would always ignore Jeremy and put a frown on his face whenever he was in the same place as him. It obviously wasn't the best of strategies to put distance between himself and all the Jeremy glow, but it looked exactly bad enough to work.

Still, Jeremy was all pompous and charming looks at him, always smiling and being polite even though he received much less in return. It pissed the shit out of Jean.

He was  _ used _ by the Ravens for many years, treated exactly like the exchange item he had been, just possession and obliged to follow lines and lines of rules  _ too strict _ even for how he should breathe.

Riko was  _ violent _ , the Ravens were  _ cruel _ , the Moriyama family was  _ wrong _ and he needed to repeat this to himself on a daily basis to be able to just keep going.

Back at the beginning of those days, many times he would fight back until he was taught that it was only worse. Many times he would beg until he realized that it encouraged Riko more than it prevented him. Many times he would cry until he was taught that it was wrong.

He would often bleed.

He would often  _ wish _ to bleed until there was nothing left in his veins, no thoughts in his brain, no air in his lungs, no words on the tip of his tongue—

And he would often try to do just that on his own.

That was his daily life for a long time. Evermore was what he knew, the Moriyama family was who he belonged to and all of that was for what he served. That was it.

How was he supposed to know back then that  _ suddenly _ overly nice twenty-eight other people would replace all of that with magnificence?

How was he supposed to know that they wouldn't look at him with disgust whenever he accidentally let a curse in French slip away?

How was he supposed to know that the Trojans had complete freedom within the team, instead of having to walk in pairs like the Ravens?

How was he supposed to know that Jeremy wasn't going to hit him whenever he made a mistake?

Or how would he know that Jeremy never considered anything that he made a  _ mistake _ ?

It was all a  _ very big _ break from reality and so, so suddenly. Jean felt confused at first. Lost, wrong, out of place, stupid and scared.

And Jeremy was always determined to be the best he could be. Jeremy was  _ safe _ .

Until Jean felt comfortable, confident, fine, and satisfied. He was  _ someone _ instead of  _ something _ and he really felt like that.

But then, even back in the days at USC, Jean didn't literally spend twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with Jeremy.

He knew from the first instant that the fall was about to come, and he wasn't even remotely wrong, but he could take it because, regardless of how much time they spent together, he would always have  _ time to recover. _

That was not the case now.

Because now they were living at Kevin's house, and, of all the things that involved, it meant that he and Jeremy were together  _ the whole time. _

Not only that but now there was _ Kevin  _ too.

Kevin was probably Jean's first love and he was not ashamed to admit it — with the notable exception of admitting to Kevin himself.

They shared a lot of things at Evermore, like, really a lot of things.

Jean never said that but he thought Kevin was very brave and he was grateful to him every single day of his life. He learned many things from that green-eyed hardhead, and perhaps very few things hurt him as much as the day Kevin left Evermore. It was selfish to think that, and Jean scolded himself a lot for that later, but he still missed his  _ trésor _ a lot.

Sometimes he found it ridiculous how much he loved Kevin. He even used it as comfort when he wasn’t there. Jean suffered from every beat of his heart when Kevin and Thea first became a  _ thing _ . He hid it all, and despite that, he was always content with what he could get because the friendship was still better than nothing, and Jean was always content with  _ so little _ .

And it wasn't like it was Kevin's fault, though. It wasn't fair to expect him to return a feeling that he didn't even know existed, Jean knew that. And even if he did know, it still wasn't fair to force or expect him to feel the same.

Kevin was there almost every time. He had already cleaned Jean's wounds, saw him vomit multiple times — and ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to relieve any bad feelings —, he already tried to stop Riko as well...

Kevin was there when Jean was rescued.

And those were not the only things. Kevin was also there in what became the happiest moments for Jean. When he took the first dose of hormones and blockers, when he officially changed his documents, during the entire mastectomy procedure... By the way, some of those things, the ones Jean did while he was still at Evermore, had Kevin's hand in means to help him achieve.

They remained in constant contact when Jean went to the Trojans. He was always there.

So, in short, it wasn't easy for him, but so far Jean thinks he was doing quite well in containing the little panics. At least externally.

Internally, he almost died whenever, by chance, the other two men did anything that drove him crazy more than it should’ve.

Like one day, when Jean and Kevin were sitting on the sofa in the living room and Kevin was just watching and giving his opinions while Jean was drawing on the graphics tablet. They were actually making an animal that was a mix of a chihuahua and a shark with a flowery background in the image, just for fun.

Until Jeremy came out of the bedroom and stopped halfway to the kitchen.

“Did you put all those groceries in place after cleaning them all?” He asked.

“ _ Oui mon cher _ ,” Jean replied before turning to face him.

He saw Kevin first, motionless in his place on the couch, his eyes slightly wide and his lips parted. It was following his gaze that Jean finally noticed Jeremy Knox standing in the middle of the living room wearing only a star print shirt and a black boxer way too tight around his athlete's thighs.

He was just there, with his hair messed up from just waking up from a nap, his bare legs, and his eyes shining as they always did.

Jean swallowed hard. Kevin kept looking shamelessly.

“Great then, who wants ice cream? Because I'm too hot and why not?” Jeremy said, smiling.

“Yeah, too hot,” Kevin murmured. He narrowed his eyes for a few seconds and then widened at once. “I mean, like, the day. The day is really hot.”

Jeremy giggled and smiled deviously. “I know. The  _ ‘Day’ _ is always hot, which is why so many people line up to take a piece of him.”

And then he winked before turning on his heels and heading for the kitchen.

Kevin was quiet and frowned for a few seconds before his face lit up in understanding and he flushed.

Jean smiled because he recognized that, he had already felt it and experienced it quite a few times.

Bowing his head, he thought about how it wasn't the first time he saw that same reaction in Kevin whenever Jeremy was around, and all he could do was feel a hot tightness in his chest because those two were strangely perfect to each other and would do great together. And Jean would be really pleased if that were the case, because the sparkle in their eyes indicated that they would be able to be good with each other, and that was all he hoped for the two most important men in the world for him.

When Kevin recovered from his moment, they went back to the drawing and laughed a lot at the almost finished result.

Jeremy returned a few minutes later, balancing three bowls of ice cream with difficulty. He handed one to Jean, one to Kevin, and kept the other. His legs were still quite a view, so both men were quick to shove the ice cream into their mouths in order to keep it shut.

“What are you two doing there?” Jeremy smiled, sitting at the coffee table, facing them. “Are you drawing, Jean? I love to see your drawings.”

Kevin laughed and nodded. “This one is the best of all.”

“Kev is helping me with it. Really a revolutionary work of art that surpasses all artistic movements that ever dared to exist before. Impressionism, realism, baroque, luminism... Nothing compares.”

“Um, you sound very smart saying those names, I think I have a new kink,” Jeremy raised his eyebrows and brought another scoop of ice cream to his mouth.

“Jean's voice should be everyone's kink,” Kevin joined him, looking a little lost just before blushing again and looking away.

“That's true. Now come on,  _ mon français _ , show me what you guys did.”

Jean was momentarily stunned by their comments and needed a few shameful seconds to recover. When he did, he lifted the screen and showed it to Jeremy, who almost choked on the ice cream while laughing. Both Kevin and Jean bit back their laughter and looked at him as seriously as possible but with the same mischievous look on their faces.

“Oh my god, what is this?” Jeremy managed to speak after a while.

“A shark chihuahua,” Kevin explained as if it were nothing absurd. “He is the scariest and smallest thing in the world.”

“So that's Andrew?”

Jean chewed his lip against laughter again. Kevin seemed taken aback momentarily, really stopping to think.

“Okay, the  _ second _ scariest and smallest thing in the world,” he conceded.

Jeremy grinned, put the bowl of ice cream aside, and picked up the screen with the drawing to take a closer look. “Yeah, it's really good. We should recreate it on a canvas to hang here in Kevin's apartment.”

“It would be quite a thing to the decor,” Jean agreed.

They discussed where it would be best to put that picture, and Kevin vehemently disagreed with the justification that it would be scary to look at this animal every day, especially when Andrew was in the apartment visiting.

“Oh, you're already a big boy, I know you can handle it,” Jeremy joked, and Kevin stuck his tongue out to him.

They dropped the discussion after much protest and decided to watch Frozen because, in Jeremy's words, ‘maybe the movie had a placebo effect and they ended up getting cold because of the story’.

It’s obvious that Kevin disagreed for long minutes and said that, since the remote control was with him, he would be responsible for choosing what to watch. And he held on to that.

“I don't think I have enough patience to watch a movie full of music right now,” he said.

“I think you do,” Jeremy stamped his foot.

“Says who?”

“Stop being boring you never even saw it and you're assuming it's bad.”

“Jeremy, if I wanted to watch a blonde person sing uncontrollably, I would just literally need to look at you at any time of the day. Let's see Rocky Balboa or Dunkirk.”

“Okay then. Jean decides. Whatever he says will be.”

The two turned their heads to him and Jean smiled. “Let's watch  _ Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain _ .”

Kevin blinked twice and sighed. “Okay, Frozen is okay.”

Jeremy jumped up and smiled. “Thank you,  _ ma petite fleur _ ,” he said and cupped Jean's face to kiss his forehead. “I'm going to take the bowls to the sink and I'll be right back.”

He barely finished speaking and walked out into the kitchen. Jean and Kevin were in embarrassing silence while the latter placed the film. Jeremy came back and, without ceremony, threw himself over them, with his head in Kevin's lap and his legs in Jean's lap.

Kevin visibly swallowed and tried to process the sudden gesture, which drew a laugh from Jean, who was already used to Jeremy being always so touchy and a big fan of cuddles.

The three of them watched in silence — save Jeremy who sang all the songs — and involved in the story. Kevin even made a surprised noise a few times.

Absently, the two men began to caress Jeremy in their respective places, Jean massaging his legs and Kevin combing his hair with his fingers, and they only realized the effect this was having on the blonde when he was absolutely silent during one of the songs.

Kevin looked down and poked Jean when he saw that Jeremy was sleeping.

Neither of them dared to move and risk waking him up because the wretch looked like a fucking angel. His cheek was pressed against Kevin's knee and it made him look adorable. He looked so comfortable that they refused to get off the couch and just continued to stroke him.

Jeremy didn't wake up, and in the end, all three ended up sleeping on the couch.

~

With each passing hour and day, Jeremy loved more and more to be in the constant company of Kevin and Jean.

Especially when each of the three did something to insert each other into their routines, so that, daily, they practically did everything together or at least in the presence of each other.

Kevin changed his habit of sleeping so _late_ and started to get to enjoy a bit of the morning with Jean and Jeremy. He still got up a little cranky on some days, but it was quickly solved after breakfast and a large cup of coffee. Also, Jeremy was quite proud to mention that this was not Kevin's only change — or the first. Since joining his current exy team, _Wicked Cougars_ , Kevin had managed to decrease his ingestion frequency of alcoholic beverages — in addition to the pressure from Wymack himself to control it now that he was joining a professional and bigger team than the Foxes of Palmetto State. He slowly cut back on consumption, but he still had more relapses than not — especially when he was nervous, stressed, or frustrated — and it was even more difficult since he was living all alone.

Kevin wanted to stop, but it always seemed too difficult. He was able to decrease his alcohol consumption considerably but never to stop completely. This didn’t stop him from trying, though. He was still Kevin Day, after all. Challenging himself was the most effective way he knew how to make progress.

When the lockdown first started, he was quick to mention that the beverage supply was close to running out and he needed to do something about it. Jean and Jeremy almost had to tie him up at home to keep him from going out and buying more, and it was ridiculous how much Kevin yelled at them for it, but they stamped their feet and held on.

If _that_ had pissed him off, what followed afterward certainly didn't do much better.

One day, while Kevin slept, Jean and Jeremy took all the alcoholic beverages they could find, locked them in a cupboard, and hid the key. They didn't say a word about it until Kevin realized on his own, and so they just remained indifferent to his complaints and didn't budge.

And since he was gradually decreasing alcohol consumption, the withdrawal symptoms were less than they could have been in another situation, which allowed the other two men to make such an abrupt cut in the first place. But even so, there were symptoms. For about a week and a half, Kevin would be vomiting frequently, getting irritated easily, and fluctuating his mood. His insomnia worsened too, along with his anxiety, agitation, and, consequently, fatigue. Sometimes he had a fever, or simply kept sweating and shaking through the day, besides many other things. It wasn’t pleasant at all nor easy, but they continued to do it anyway. All three of them.

Kevin rested whenever he could and always had Jean and Jeremy to help him if he needed to.

It took time, patience, and attention, but in the fifth week the withdrawal was much less apparent, and Kevin was already showing signs of slowly managing to overcome the crisis. He still felt like wanting to drink sometimes, but the alcohol bottles were still locked and Jeremy and Jean kept intercepting all of Kevin's attempts.

They were still currently going through with this process and would continue to do so for as long as needed.

Jean, on the other hand, reduced the time he spent locked up and drawing in the guest room he shared with Jeremy, to replace that time with other activities with the other two men.

They constantly engaged in ideal weekly plans with physical activities because of Kevin, who refused to give it up, a few creative stimulation sessions because of Jean, and at least one day in the week where everyone would make some dessert because of Jeremy.

It was going well, and they managed to use it to have some productive time as well as free time for leisure. The blanks on the weekly agenda were always for whatever they thought at the time.

Like just now, Kevin was arguing about how he could be absolutely good at any hobby as long as he _ tried _ . Jeremy, of course, vehemently denied it.

"There is no way in hell you can be good at everything, Kev."

"Then tell me something and I will prove you wrong."

Jean laughed, from his seat on the couch with his legs crossed and both arms spread and stretched across the back of the sofa. Jeremy just crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes from his place standing in the middle of the living room.

"Okay, fine. Dance," he said.

After a long whistle, Jean said, "Jeremy is very good at dancing. Maybe you two should challenge each other."

Immediately, the eyes of both Jeremy and Kevin shone fiercely with a competitive spirit and they grinned.

"Change your clothes to sportswear, I'm going to buy Just Dance in the video game’s store and we'll do just that," Kevin said.

Jeremy ran and pulled out the first most comfortable and loose outfit he found in his suitcase; gym leggings and a loose scoop tank top. When he returned to the living room, Kevin had taken off his shirt and draped it over the back of an armchair. He was spontaneously talking to Jean while he gestured with one hand and held the video game remote with the other. Jean was now resting his head on one hand — leaning against his elbow on the back of the sofa — and smiling at whatever Kevin was saying, and Jeremy had to stop for a moment to assimilate the scene.

Suddenly he was completely overwhelmed.

They had all been feeling so comfortable together and it was nothing less than wonderful.

Jeremy leaned against the hall wall and looked at them.

Jean was smiling in the way that Jeremy had seen a few times over the years, in the way he did and his eyes almost disappeared from being covered by his cheeks. It was such a natural and true smile, he just had to enjoy it every time it happened. Jean seemed amused above all, he smiled without realizing that he was doing it and doing it so much, and it was written all over his face all the preciousness that could fit in a human being.

Kevin was just Kevin, and he was, as always, carrying all the presence that he knew how to always carry anywhere. It was, of course, inevitable to map his almost bare body — wasn’t for his pants. Every bit of skin, muscle, and bone fitted in the perfect place, to cohabit with the big heart he hid under seven layers of too much grimness, and whenever he exposed it, it was in the only way he knew how to do it — and honestly, sometimes only he could understand it too —, with definitely excessive honesty and a  _ way too big _ openness of thoughts that might seem different from his usual.

They were fine now and Jeremy was so proud of each of them individually and then of them together. It was too much and just filled his heart with everything possible.

"Are you going to stand there, Knox? Are you starting to realize you're going to lose to me?" Kevin asked, smiling devilishly.

Jeremy blinked a few times to come to himself and snorted. "You wish, Day."

They had to wait until the game was finished downloading to start. They decided that it would be fair if Jean chose the song to be as neutral as possible, and that settled in Kevin and Jeremy positioned in the middle of the room while  [ _ Everybody, by the Backstreet Boys _ ](https://youtu.be/13RRrGQqjWo) _ , _ started to sound around the room.

Jeremy smiled as he started to follow the steps and in less than forty seconds of dancing, Kevin complained that he had to swing too much and he was hating it.

"You asked for it, my queen," Jeremy scoffed.

Kevin rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue to him. "I'm still going to win, just wait for it."

When the chorus came and they had to jump to exercise the next steps, as the game instructed, Jean burst out laughing and Jeremy simply smiled while Kevin snorted. "This fuck looks like a fucking boyband choreography, I'm completely hating it."

" _ Oh god, I wonder why does it look like a boyband choreography? _ " Jeremy teased him. "Cry louder, Kev, so that maybe I will hear you."

"Oh, shut up, Knox. I'm  _ letting you win _ , make it clear. I took pity on you and I couldn't destroy your dreams like that."

"Right."

Jean was still laughing. When they had to do a step again where the hands went down the swinging body, he couldn’t control himself anymore and said, "Kevin,  _ mon trésor _ , you shake  _ so well _ , I’m fascinated."

Clearly flushed and making a disgruntled noise, Kevin replied, "Could you two please go fuck yourselves?"

And Jeremy also blushed with the phrase, because, well... You know...  _ He would _ .

All Jean did, however, was reply with an air of nonchalance, "The way my libido is killing me because of the hormone doses, it wouldn't be that hard for me to actually go."

They were silent in the room except for the game music. Jeremy almost tripped over his own feet but managed to make it look like it was part of the choreography. Kevin looked mesmerized at the wall as if it were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he didn't even look at the TV while doing a series of steps. They were both flushed to their necks.

After a few coughs from Kevin and stutters from Jeremy, Jean laughed. "In my opinion, you two should quit exy and become dancers."

Kevin and Jeremy followed with some nervous laughter and didn’t risk taking their eyes off the TV.

"No,  _ mon français _ , this is just for your eyes," Jeremy managed to gather enough presence to say.

"What a privilege."

They continued to dance and this time when the game showed a step of moving the arms while propelling the hips forward, Kevin managed to do it with excellence.

Jeremy's throat dried up instantly.

Fortunately, the choreography was repetitive enough that it was possible to do everything automatically, without paying much more attention to the images on TV. Jeremy almost knelt and glorified when the song finally came to an end.

Kevin scoffed, crossed his arms, and rolled his eyes when the score appeared on the screen and he came in second, losing magnificently to Jeremy.

Jean was smiling, from his place on the couch, looking from one to the other and waiting to capture their reactions.

"Kisses to the queen, but now it's time to make room for the real Majesty in this place," Jeremy scoffed, waving at no one in particular and keeping his nose up.

"You are not worth a penny, Knox," Kevin murmured with a frown.

"Don't hurt the queen's feelings, Day."

Kevin shamelessly mocked him by repeating the phrase in a childish tone. Jean was laughing now and shaking his head as if the other two men were unbelievable.

Without any warning, Jeremy jumped on Kevin and, of all possible things, tickled his belly. The other man remained unmoved, but it was completely noticeable how he was working so hard on it, and it wouldn't be difficult to make his face break into a laugh.

With Jean's help, they managed to get Kevin on the couch and Jeremy continued to tickle him, but this time trying new places.

"Where's your weak spot, Kev?" He asked, not exactly expecting an answer.

"I don’t have any."

"Liar."

Kevin was smirking victoriously as if Jeremy was never going to unravel his dark secrets.

"Let me try," Jean said, approaching them.

Immediately, Kevin's entire smug expression faded and he opened his eyes wide.

"No, Jean, you have nothing to do with this," he said, going back over the sofa upholstery as much as he could.

The whole movement was terrible for Jeremy, who was sitting on top of Kevin — which, by the way, he noticed just now and made him blush wildly everywhere — and almost fell with abruptness.

Jean made no effort, he simply approached them and moved his fingers along the side of Kevin's waist, close to his ribs. The reaction was immediate, and Kevin broke down into a desperate laugh and some very colorful curses.

Jeremy laughed inevitably and tilted his head to watch.

"He's also sensitive in the neck if you want to try," Jean mentioned.

"No—  _ hah— _ he doesn't want to— he doesn't want to try," Kevin said with difficulty, between attempts to breathe and shouted laughter.

"Don't try to speak for the queen,  _ mon cher _ ," Jeremy puffed out his cheeks and pretended to be annoyed.

"Oh shut— shut the fuck up— you two."

When he next realized, Kevin was covered by the other two men and writhing completely while trying to gather some air and breathe easily. He was failing, obviously.

Jean was the first to walk away because he was laughing too much and didn't have the strength to continue, and Jeremy only did the same when Kevin raised his hands and started to slap the air, trying to get rid of the tickling in some way.

When both Jean and Jeremy were finally away from him, Kevin lay on his side on the couch and cringed to try to breathe. He was crimson red and inhaled and exhaled very fast.

"My god, you guys are terrible," he said, his voice hoarse when he finally managed to muster enough strength.

"Will you still refuse to accept your defeat?" Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him.

"This game has nothing to do with winning or losing. You are only better at following orders than I am, that's it."

"It is still something that I am better than you."

Kevin rolled his eyes and turned his back to them, still lying on the couch.

"What is it,  _ mon trésor _ , are you going to throw a tantrum now?" Jean approached him again, sitting in the little space available near Kevin's legs. "Now what, will you also want a hug of consolation?"

It made Kevin blush a little, and Jeremy smiled knowingly.

"I don't need comfort, I'm perfectly fine."

Jean smiled and patted his leg playfully but said nothing.

"Okay, Kev, I'm going to give you a second chance, you brat bitch. If you compete once with Jean and win, I let you be the first queen of the golden line, with me being the next in succession line," Jeremy proposed.

"This is bullshit."

"You still want it, don't you?"

When Kevin didn't answer, that was enough to find out.

"And what am I in your monarchy, by any chance?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

Jeremy smiled devilishly and took advantage of the gap to both tease Kevin and try to prove his own theory.

"You could be the prince of an allied kingdom promised in marriage to Kev," he said, with a falsely innocent smile.

Kevin gasped for breath and worried the other two men when he continued to cough ceaselessly. They waited until he calmed down before finally staying firm again.

"I don't like the idea of being promised, but Kevin makes it worth it," Jean shrugged.

Once again, Kevin gasped.

"You know what, I'm just going to drink water," he said, getting up from the couch and walking quickly to the kitchen.

Jeremy chuckled and looked at Jean, who was distracted watching Kevin walk away.

From the first year that Jean joined the Trojans, Jeremy always imagined that there was a different atmosphere between him and Kevin. It was very intense and electric, the kind that made anyone want to get away because it was just too intimate and too private. It was truly incredible and noticeable to anyone — except, probably, both the two men in question.

Jeremy was never one of the people to want to get away from it, however. He tried to take his place within that atmosphere, which was fine until he started to think it might be  _ more _ . Between Jean and Kevin, that is.

They obviously had feelings towards each other, and as much as Jeremy was one of the few to make it into their small circle, he would not dare to dream too big about  _ that part  _ of the story.

This was honestly a shame, especially because he had long-standing feelings for Kevin. And he certainly also knew what the mixture of reactions that Jean managed to cause in his body and mind meant.

And of course, in some deeper thoughts, Jeremy gave a little space to think about polyamory, but then again, he wouldn't dare to dream too big. The drop could be even greater.

When Kevin returned from the kitchen, Jeremy spent every argument cell he had to convince him and Jean to dance at least one song, and as soon as they agreed, Jeremy was quick to pick any song from the list before they had time to give up.

[ This song ](https://youtu.be/az0Q2gw3nbU) had three dancers composing the choreography, and Kevin and Jean both ended up with the middle one.

They danced with determination, because, of course, they were both incredibly ambitious, and even though they were constantly complaining about how bad that dance was, or how ridiculous they should look, how stupid it was and a lot of many other things, they wanted to win despite everything.

They were not the only ones displeased, though. Jeremy also regretted having chosen that choreography — even though it was completely random.

He was now having to watch Jean and Kevin move their hips, waist, torso, and everything else the game suggested. And as clumsy as they were, it still didn't make it easier to see.

Jeremy swallowed at least seven times during their performance. He was sure he was blushing as well.

As if that weren't enough, he was also kinda mesmerized by the concentrated expressions of the two other men, and how beautiful that was. Jeremy couldn't take his eyes off. He realized that it was again the same overload of sensations that he had felt so many times since he started living with them 24/7.

It was surprising how at one point they just got used to the dance steps and, incredibly, went from being clumsy to being  _ good. _

Jeremy laughed at their obvious desperation to try to outdo each other but said nothing.

Kevin did manage to win, after all, and went back to being his usual idiot self like always.

As soon as they called the night to an end and Jeremy and Jean were back in the guest room, Jeremy said, playfully, "Are you going to need consolation for losing to Kev?"

Jean grinned and, shrugging, replied, "Don't tell him, but I let him win."

They laughed and lay down on their respective beds.

"Did you want to be his promised prince so badly?"

"I could never miss this opportunity."

Jean laughed nervously and, while they waited until they were consumed with sleep, what hovered between the two was a rather embarrassing silence.

~

Kevin came into the kitchen just to see Jeremy stress baking for what was likely the third time on the week. There were bowls everywhere and particles of flour flying through the air in the room. He was going to turn around and leave before he was noticed because Jeremy could become a real monster when someone tried to interfere in the moments when he was cooking — especially now, that he was certainly  _ stressed _ , as demonstrated in the dough he was punching —, but all Kevin did was sigh and take another step into the kitchen.

"Need help?" He asked.

Jeremy looked up, completely contorted in a frown, and faced him.

"Do I look like I need help?"

Kevin pondered for a few seconds whether he should respond truthfully or appreciate his own life. "Honestly? Yes."

He withdrew when Jeremy's grimace deepened, shrugged, and leaned against the counter. They were silent except for the loud sound of thudding on the raw dough.

Jeremy was upset today. He didn't want to, but he was. His head seemed ready to explode at any moment, which is why he decided to cook something heavier, after all.

"How about saying something, then?" Kevin tried again.

"Say what? I have nothing to say."

Just when he finished saying that, he hit the dough again and missed, hitting the bench instead. Jeremy immediately hissed and flinched, holding that hand to his chest. Kevin startled and was very quick to pick up an ice pack and hand it over to the other man.

He stayed away while Jeremy pressed the icy object in his fist, but as soon as his expression relaxed and he was no longer frowning like before, Kevin took two steps forward and cupped Jeremy's face.

"Talk to me. You don't usually get stressed like that, what's going on? ” He said, looking deep into his eyes.

Jeremy tried to hold Kevin's gaze for as long as possible, but it was too intense and he eventually avoided that pair of green eyes. He still hesitated for a long time before saying anything and took a few deep breaths.

“I don't know, really. My head is just too full with too much at the same time and it's kinda hell for now.”

“We’re going to try to situate ourselves in the present, yes? Slowly. Where are you?"

"In your apartment's kitchen."

"Good. Do you want me to touch you while we talk, or does physical contact get in the way?”

Jeremy stopped for a few seconds to think about the question. Kevin was holding him by the cheeks, and he wasn't the least bit uncomfortable with the gesture, so he thought it was okay. In fact, it was even being a little anchoring.

"It's okay, go ahead," he said, therefore.

"Right. Tell me what's in the kitchen. Anything until you think it's enough. ”

"Um... The stove, the refrigerator, countertop, sink, bag of flour, pots, cutlery, drawers, the island, snacks, you and me."

While Jeremy was speaking, Kevin had started to move his thumbs in circles over his cheeks, and gradually Jeremy started to breathe in time with the movements of the fingers on his skin.

"What are you doing?" Kevin asked.

"Stress baking."

"Baking what?"

"Pie."

"Have you made this recipe before?"

"Yes."

"Can you recite it?"

“Mix the flour, sugar, eggs, butter, and yeast in a large bowl. Stir a lot with your hands, until you reach the point, which is when it is no longer sticky. Do not add too much flour, otherwise, it will become dry and crumble. Make a ball with the dough and divide it in half. With one of the halves, line a greased removable bottom form, without forgetting the edges, which should go up to approximately half the height of the form. Bake for about 20 minutes. Remove and wait for it to cool to receive the filling. For the filling: put the milk, egg yolks, sugar and cornstarch in a pan. Mix and cook over low heat until it reaches the cream point. Now just assemble the pie; peel the apples, cut in four, and then make thin slices. Place the cream over the dough, already baked, and arrange the apple slices on top, covering well. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar over the apples. With half the dough left to decorate, make strips and trace over the filling with the apples, partially covering them. Brush the dough with egg yolk and bake for about 20 minutes or until golden. Remove, let cool, and refrigerate. Serve cold. ”

Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Wow, you actually recited the complete pie recipe."

Jeremy smiled. "You asked."

“Yes, I did. Do I need to keep talking or are you more situated now?”

“Can you keep talking? Just a little? It's helping.”

"Of course I can," Kevin continued firmly, still stroking his cheek in circles with his thumbs. "Where did you learn the recipe for this pie?"

"Laila Dermott taught me when we were still at USC."

"And how does it taste?"

“Oh, it's just divine, Kev. It's sweet but not too sweet and the cinnamon is so incredibly amazing with the apple… Seriously, it's very good.”

"Is that your favorite dessert?" Kevin tilted his head and deepened his gaze.

Jeremy had to take a deep breath. "No. But I do like it very much," he bit his lip.

"Is there a reason why you chose to cook this apple pie specifically?" As soon as he finished speaking, Kevin moved a thumb to Jeremy's mouth and gently released the other man's lip, which was being chewed

"Um... I just chose the first kinda  _ heavy-duty recipe _ I could think of, I guess?"

"If you wanted something to punch, I'm sure we could have solved it somehow more safely."

"I didn't  _ want _ to punch something," Jeremy rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I wanted sugar and to keep myself busy with something, the part of the fight with the raw dough was unintentional."

Kevin chuckled. "And what have you done so far?"

"Well, I just hit the dough violently..." Jeremy blushed, apologetic. "And now I don't know how I'm going to finish because my hand is kinda hurting and it's my dominant hand."

"I will help you if you need to."

"Yes, please."

Kevin nodded and Jeremy guided him to the counter where the dough was. He rubbed his hand with ice while instructing Kevin what to do step by step, sometimes helping with what he could. They managed to make the pie with great difficulty, but it was better than nothing.

By the way, Jeremy got lost too many times in Kevin's arms as he shaped the dough, and his muscles flexed under the short sleeve of his shirt. It was quite a sight, and it distracted him as fuck.

Of course, his arms were  _ that big, _ after all, he was an idiot who worked out in his spare time — in his _ spare time _ , for god’s sake — but it was still embarrassing to see up close and—

"Are you calmer now?" Kevin asked, suddenly, pulling Jeremy out of his trance.

He had to blink a few times to regain his senses and look up at the other man's face again before replying, “Yes, I am. Thank you."

"Will you want to talk?"

Jeremy sighed. “Sorry, I don't think I could do it. It's just... too confusing. And there are some shits that I even understand but I don't exactly want to talk about them because it's not like it's something that would bother me if I wasn't on a bad day.”

Kevin hummed. "Um, I think I understand you."

"But I swear you helped me a lot, thank you very much," he stood slightly on tiptoes and kissed Kevin's cheek — who _ definitely _ didn't blush violently. "Where did you learn all this, by the way?"

"I had to learn some technique to deal with my own anxiety since I no longer was able to cope with alcohol," he shrugged.

"Makes sense."

"Yeah," he continued to work on the pie. "Where's Jean?"

"Uh, he has some commissions to deliver so he's basically drawing all day."

"This is cool. I always said that Jean should invest in his talent and I’m proud that he did it.”

"Yes, right? I’m so completely in love with his drawin—”

"I can't take it anymore," a third voice interrupted him mid-sentence.

"Speaking of the devil..." Kevin murmured, and Jeremy laughed. "What, Jean?"

"These doses of the hormone are going to kill me, I keep wanting to have sex all the time," he said, completely unconcerned as he sat on the kitchen island. Kevin and Jeremy froze and moved nervously to look at him at the same time. "Hey, what happened,  _ mon soleil _ ?"

Unfortunately, Jeremy still needed too much time to react to Jean's next words because he was still processing the previous ones.

"I— Ahm— I accidentally punched the counter," he waved his hand like it was nothing and then regretted when he hissed in pain.

Kevin shot him a sharp look and Jeremy immediately returned the ice bag to his hand. Jean walked over until he was towering over him, and looked down as he studied the red and swollen knuckles of his fingers, just before taking Jeremy's hand in his own and gently bringing it to his lips.

"Let me know if I can help."

“I don't think he's okay today. You could help me finish this hellish pie and we can put him to rest or something,” Kevin said, in a torrent of Japanese.

Jeremy snorted and crossed his arms. "Rude."

Jean merely nodded and continued in Japanese, "Finish the pie yourself, I'll make dinner."

"Don't be surprised if I burn the apartment or throw this shit out the balcony window."

"You’re not going to do any of this, I trust you."

"You two," Jeremy caught their eyes, complaining through his teeth, "stop speaking Japanese, I can't understand."

"We know," they went back to speaking English.

"Kevin, do you still like kibbeh?" Jean asked.

"I will always like your kibbeh, you know that."

"Um, don't put that much trust in it," he shook his head. "Do you have lemon here?"

“Jeremy, can you help Jean cut the lemons? He has sensitive skin and lemon hurts him.”

Jeremy's eyes widened. “Uh, of course. Yes, I can,” he nodded. "This is cool."

"What?" Jean raised an eyebrow, curious.

“Not your sensitivity, of course. But the fact that he  _ knows _ that about you. It's a small detail, it's not like it's something you announce to anyone. It’s cute that he knows."

"It's normal, we've known each other for a long time," Kevin said, but he was starting to blush.

"Even so. You would have to pay attention to know something like that.”

He blushed even more at Jeremy's words, and Jean smiled.

"Aw, so cute,  _ ma reine _ ."

"Same with you, Jean," Jeremy continued to speak.

"What?"

"You also know a lot of things about Kevin, like, for example, where he tickles."

"Um, yeah, I know a lot of things."

"And I'm the only one invincible here because nobody knows anything about me," Jeremy smiled victoriously.

"Why does everything look like a power competition for you?" Kevin frowned, modeling the dough inside the baking tray.

"It's true, we should just leave this competitive position to Kev," Jean shrugged.

“It is  _ not _ a power competition. I'm telling the  _ truth _ ."

Kevin finally finished the pie, brushed the egg on top, and took it to the oven, going to wash both hands as soon as he finished.

“Except it’s not. I know that you separate all the elements of your food so that you can eat in the order of what you like least to what you like best,” he said.

"Yup. And I know that you prefer to eat standing up because you can change positions easily,” Jean added.

They were all silent and Jeremy blushed. “Okay, right, whatever. I'm going to the bathroom."

He didn't really need to go to the bathroom, but his heart was pounding and warming his entire body while his mouth forced him to smile broadly.

Jeremy locked himself in the bathroom and just stared at his reflection in the mirror while wondering what to do now, how to react, or if he was just imagining things. He didn’t find an answer, unfortunately.

Jean and Kevin kept talking in the kitchen and started making dinner together, always keeping an eye on the pie in the oven.

After that little conversation, Jean had a thought in mind but he needed more time to formulate that idea better, so he said nothing for now.

When Jeremy came back from the bathroom, he was put aside and forced to be quiet so as not to hurt his hand further. Naturally, he pouted and puffed out his cheeks for that.

"I'm an adult, you know, I can make my own decisions and et cetera."

"Understood and noted," Kevin said, without even making the effort to turn to him.

Despite the protests, however, he did as told and remained quiet in the corner of the kitchen.

They did a pretty quick job of preparing the kibbeh while Jeremy set the dinner table, and when he came back there was a tray of small dumplings on the kitchen island. As quietly as possible, he snuck over there and pinched a piece of one of the dumplings, bringing it to his mouth and eating. The other two men were on their backs, so they didn't see when he did it with the other dumplings on the tray too — you know, just to pay equal attention to everyone and not leave anyone out.

That is until Kevin turned around and caught him red-handed.

"Jeremy, what the fuck?" He said, frowning.

Jeremy looked up with a false innocent expression and smiled. "Sorry."

"Why are you eating  _ raw kibbeh _ ?"

Now Jean raised his eyebrows and turned to face him too.

"But it's not bad," Jeremy narrowed his eyes.

"Dude, this is literally raw meat," Kevin gestured expansively to the entire tray.

"Ew."

"Yeah,  _ ew _ ."

Jean laughed and Kevin shook his head negatively as he took the tray away from Jeremy and placed it elsewhere. After the little incident, they returned to concentrating on finishing their food and everyone ate relatively early — since they finished the kibbeh quickly — and then sat on the living room floor to finally taste the apple pie.

“It tastes great, Kevin may already be the backup stress baker,” Jean mentioned, smiling.

"He wasn't stressed out, though."

“Oh, I was. This shit is very difficult, I did it out of pure hatred.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at him and immediately burst out laughing. In the end, they ended up with seventy percent of the pie at once and had to almost roll their bodies into the rooms.

When they were at the guest room door, Kevin stopped abruptly, rubbed his neck, and said, “You could just, uh, sleep in my room. It has enough space.”

"What? Why?" Jean looked concerned.

"It's nothing, it was just a stupid suggestion, forget it," he immediately turned and started walking

“Hey, wait a minute… Relax, okay? At least help us get the mattresses out of the beds.”

Kevin nodded. "Right... Alright."

The three had to work together to lift and move the two mattresses to Kevin's room, but were able to do so successfully.

Even when they lay down in their respective beds, they talked more than they actually slept, and stayed that way until the wee hours of the morning.

~

Jeremy and Jean let themselves be convinced by Kevin to switch from calm gymnastics to heavy training at the gym, and it was surprising that they hadn't completely regretted it yet.

Fortunately, the day was not  _ unbearably _ hot, at least — although it still wasn't pleasant. There was workout music echoing around the room and that was extra motivation for them.

The only one working on cardio was Jeremy, as the other two were totally in weight training. Honestly, it should be considered an offense the way Jean and Kevin were doing such a heavy workout and still managed to stay talkative, energized, and — even worse — excited. They were sweating all over their bodies, blushing on any possible piece of skin and panting, and all of that while they were talking about the fucking last episode of some TV show they saw. 

_ Unbelievable. _

Jeremy rolled his eyes at this in the middle of his series of exercises, but otherwise, he said nothing.

Not that he didn't like exercising or going to the gym or anything, he enjoyed it. But,  _ damn it, _ he always let a piece of his soul go every time he had to work out. He just preferred to eat and watch movies, that’s all.

When Jeremy finally finished all the exercise sets, Jean and Kevin didn't even seem close to finishing their routine yet, so he just drank water and stretched in the corner of the gym, before sitting on the floor and stretching his legs in front of him.

"Do you know what would suit me very well?" He asked, to no one in particular.

Jean growled very low as he lifted a weight and looked at him, "What, Jere?"

"A pool."

Kevin chuckled. "There are bathtubs in the bathrooms."

"It's not the same, you know," Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"But it is the best we can do for now."

"I know, I know," he sighed. "Anyway, I think I can only dream of any refreshing activity in the hot weather of the past few days."

"Or not," Jean said, nonchalant.

"What?"

"You know, or not. We could just play water warfare and mess around Kevin's apartment. At least, in the end, it would be clean. Probably."

"I didn't approve of that, thank you very much," Kevin held up a finger in protest.

"This is a great idea," Jeremy was thoughtful.

"Again, I didn't approve of that."

" _ It is _ a great idea, isn't it?" Jean continued, both clearly ignoring Kevin.

The latter rolled his eyes and said, "Why don't you use your creative energy differently?"

"Like how?" Jeremy spared a look at him.

"I don't know, think about something, preferably with no chance of tearing my apartment apart, and tell us after we finish this weight training routine."

Jeremy nodded happily and tried to focus on whatever ideas came to his mind. He was not a very creative person, though, especially with so many limitations and few possibilities.

He tried to look around and see if he could come up with anything. When it didn't work, Jeremy just leaned his head against the wall and sighed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started searching the internet in an attempt to find some good enough idea. Pinterest had a fairly extensive collection of suggestions, but most were too difficult for them to try — it didn't stop Jeremy from still saving everything. He picked up a bottle of water and absently took a few sips while scrolling the page.

In a moment of distraction, when he looked beyond the screen of his phone, he saw Kevin over Jean — the latter was lying on a bench and doing a dumbbell bench press, while Kevin had one leg on either side of the said bench, literally over him —, keeping soft fingers on his arms while guiding how he should do that exercise correctly.

"Yes, keep your arms steady like this and pay attention to your posture," Kevin said, before starting to slide his hand over Jean's chest without taking his eyes off the dumbbells the other man was lifting. "Now breathe as I said. Exhale while lifting and breathe in while returning to the starting position."

Jeremy carefully observed their proximity and contact, seeing how it seemed natural and how they did it unconsciously.

Kevin never took his hand off Jean's chest while it went up and down with his constant breaths. Jeremy simply couldn't help but smile broadly and enjoy with affection bubbling in his insides.

He was so involved in it that he didn't even notice when they finished, they both left the bench and went to drink water.

"No idea yet,  _ petit soleil _ ?" Jean asked.

Jeremy had to shake his head and move his gaze quickly to his face.

"Um, no," he said.

"My suggestion is that we should paint some wall."

"What part of 'something with no chance of tearing my apartment apart' are you two failing to understand?" Kevin was exasperated.

Jean laughed and squeezed his cheek. "Easy, we'll do it carefully."

Jeremy's eyes sparkled with interest and he smiled, turning to Kevin with big eyes and a pout on his lips. "Please, Kev."

Kevin didn't want to look at him, because he knew he would give in immediately if he did.  _ Useless, _ he ended up succumbing anyway. Jeremy was very persuasive with that puppy face.

Running his hand through the other man's golden hair, Kevin said, "What do you two want to do?"

Jeremy giggled and closed his eyes to enjoy the touch.

"Just paint some walls of yours, and maybe make a mural," Jean replied, looking at the other two and smiling at their involuntary display of affection.

"Is just one wall enough?" Kevin looked at him while still stroking Jeremy's hair, who was completely out of this world.

"A whole room. You know, to match it better."

"Which room?"

"You can choose, the apartment is yours."

" _ Oh, really? _ Can I  _ really _ choose?" He asked, clearly mocking. Jean laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Let us do it in the guest room," Jeremy suggested. "It has little furniture so it is easy to empty to cover the floor and ceiling before painting."

After long seconds with two men looking at him expectantly, Kevin sighed heavily, "Okay, fine, whatever. You can do this."

"Not  _ you _ ,  _ us. _ You will help," Jean raised his eyebrows. “I have so many ideas. I brought some paints and bought some new ones since we got here, we can use them to draw on the wall.”

"But wait. Kevin, do you have wall paint here?"

"Luckily for you, and my misfortune, I do have some leftover from the last renovation of the apartment."

Jeremy literally started jumping and clapping with a huge smile on his face.

And so it was, for the rest of the morning they just emptied the room and covered all necessary and possible places with pieces of magazines and newspapers. When Kevin thought it was enough to get nothing dirty, they stopped to rest and have lunch. Half of the work was done, so far it was good and with no problem. Maybe even they would be able to finish it all on the same day.

To avoid further work, they just ate the leftovers they found in the fridge — Jean had an incredible ability to invent random recipes, so he mixed it all up and made some pretty suspicious but delicious foods; Jeremy ate like there was no tomorrow.

Kevin needs to admit that he wasn't sympathetic to the idea at first — painting the room, that is —, but it was impossible to stay that way after the other two men got so excited and it turned out to be contagious.

"I can think of some drawings that would look great on that wall,  _ mon trésor _ ," Jean smiled.

"I trust you, you can do anything you want," Kevin shrugged.

"It won't hurt if you admit that you are also finding it all kinda cool."

Kevin was taken aback when Jean lifted a hand and stroked his cheek playfully, and the latter didn’t lose — by his peripheral vision — how Jeremy smiled from side to side while watching the scene.

After they had lunch, they went on to change into old clothes and avoid staining anything important. For some unknown reason — or not  _ that unknown _ , sometimes he was just too cuddly — Jeremy demanded that someone carry him around the apartment. They had some serious conversation and questioning before Jean finally gave in and put Jeremy on his back. They ended up staying like that for longer than was really necessary, and Kevin found himself laughing when Jean started jumping around and Jeremy was shouting that they would fall if he didn't stop.

After much excitement, they finally got back to work and split up to paint the walls. Jean was responsible for prescribing what each one should do — since he was the one with the least idea of what to do.

At first, they would paint a wall with only geometric shapes, but ended up giving it up and opted to paint everything in the same color and then cover it with Jean’s drawings scattered everywhere.

They covered everything with light gray paint until the layers were sufficient. Jeremy applauded their work when they walked away and looked around to analyze the semi-final result.

"We are amazing, can you think of a better trio?" He boasted, putting his hands on his hips and everything.

Jean simply snorted with amusement and it caught the eye of the other two men.

"...What?" Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," he couldn't quite prevent the corners of his mouth from rising.

"Speak,  _ mon français _ ," Jeremy frowned and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Jean smirked when he heard those words. If he had to be completely honest, he still wasn't used to being so free to speak his first language and, even more, having people talking back to him or learning the language  _ because _ of him. He still felt that same warm feeling in his chest, every time.

"Not now, maybe later," when both Kevin and Jeremy grunted at the same time, Jean added, "You need to exercise patience."

They didn't do much more than giving a weak wave in response.

Everything was ok, everything was fine, they were having a pretty quiet day so far — except for the effort in the gym and then painting the room, but still — and without any difficulty or embarrassment for any of the three. They were even being productive, which was wonderful.

But that was only until Jean, shamelessly, without any warning, reached up and pulled his shirt over his head.

This declared instant war against Jeremy and Kevin's brains. They panicked and were short-circuited immediately.

Jean threw his shirt over his shoulder and started pointing at the wall and moving his hand while talking about something whatever he wanted to do on the wall.

Kevin wasn’t listening. That is, he  _ was _ hearing, but the words went in and out of his head without him actually registering any of them. His mind was momentarily having a series of too many non-heterosexual thoughts and he was probably still and motionless as a pole.

Sometimes he couldn't reason that it took so many years, Andrew throwing it in his face and then his own father literally writing on a board for Kevin to realize that he was bisexual.

_ I mean, it's not like poetically daydreaming about the ‘hair black like ebony’ and ‘eyes soft as a cotton field’ from your own teammate was something so hard to interpret, _ Kevin thought.

Jeremy wasn’t much better than that. He was literally chewing the entire inside of his mouth to prevent a compliment from escaping unintentionally. And he knew it could happen, without the slightest effort. And it wouldn't be a common compliment like 'hey, your waist is really pretty' — on second thought it sounds pretty suspicious as well — it would be more 'hi, I would let you step on me if you wanted to because that's how much I admire you' kinda shit.

"...with some vines in the corner. Or I could make a landscape occupying the entire wall and maybe write a few sentences, can you understand?" Jean said, before finally looking at them. He raised an eyebrow when he saw them both with their eyes lost enough that they didn't even answer his question. "And then I'm going to draw Kevin's face on the body of a donkey, does it sound cool?"

They nodded their heads at the same time and cleared their throat.

"Yes, yes, absolutely," Kevin nodded again, narrowing his eyes and pretending he had been paying attention.

Jeremy blinked a few times and whispered, "Kev, I'm pretty sure he said he was going to paint you like a donkey."

Jean smiled broadly and innocently, while Kevin's eyes widened in question and grimaced when he realized that it was, in fact, true.

"Sorry, I was distracted," he said.

"It's alright. But pay attention now."

He repeated everything he had said and this time they both paid attention. Jean had his arms crossed, and he had a habit of fingering his mastectomy scar whenever he did that. It was sweet and adorable, it always made Kevin smile.

Jean used his own paints to paint a landscape of a field of flowers and mountains using a color palette that looked incredibly good with the gray they had just painted on the wall.

Jeremy and Kevin barely helped in this part, but still tried to do what they could. Jean was very picky about his own drawings, and seeing him painting or something like that was quite something, he was always completely focused and stuck in his own mind thinking about all the lines to follow.

At some point Jeremy left them to make quick cookies in the kitchen, a small prize for good teamwork on the wall — or most likely just him wanting to pamper everyone with something.

When he came back Kevin had taken a ladder out of thin air and was holding it tightly while debating with Jean.

" _ Mon trésor _ , you will not know what to do."

"If you tell me how to do it, I can do it," Kevin frowned.

"But—"

"You have a fear of ladders."

"Yes, I have. But I can still handle it for a few minutes."

"Yeah and I can still keep you from having to do this."

"But it's my drawing."

" _ Please, _ Jean," Kevin's plea was far bleaker than he let on.

Jean looked him in the eye for long seconds before sighing and giving up. "Okay. You are probably right anyway. Thank you."

Kevin replied with a caress on the other man's neck and lightly ruffling his hair.

"Is Jean afraid of ladders?" Jeremy asked, resting the bowl of cookies in the corner of the room.

"I am. It's irrational but it still scares the shit out of me," he smiled and waved Jeremy over to him. When he did, Jean hugged him sideways and kissed the top of his head.

"That explains why you always ran in the opposite direction whenever we had to decorate a party or fix a lamp."

Kevin went up the stairs and asked at least a million times what he should do before he actually did it.

Jean seemed satisfied with the final result, and they chose not to add the sentences or quotes, after all.

The furniture would remain outside the room at least until they were completely sure it was safe to put it back.

Slightly soiled with dry paint, the three sat on the empty floor of the room and opened the bowl of cookies to eat. Jeremy smiled and blushed at the compliments.

Deep down he was a little apprehensive today.

He was like that all day without even realizing it.

During the day, just like right now, he was watching Kevin and Jean from a distance, and he had questions, ideas, thoughts, or anything going on in his head but he didn't exactly want to talk about it. It was ridiculous, anyway.

He was just too happy to see Kevin and Jean getting along again after Riko’s death, and he hoped that this time they could resolve any mixed feelings they had been having for a long time. Jeremy would be happy for them.

"Spit it out, Remy," Kevin said, lying on his back on the floor and placing one hand under his head and the other over his belly.

"What?" Jeremy looked at him pretending to be confused.

He didn't want to talk about it. It would be nice if he spoke, of course it would be, it might be a welcome push for the other two to take action, but Jeremy had no idea how it would be possible to say anything without leaving his own feelings more than obvious.

"You have something on your mind. What is it?" Kevin spoke again.

"Everyone always has something on their mind, it's natural," Jeremy tried to smile. The incredulous look he received in response shut him up. "I just kind of don't want to talk. Now, at least. I guess."

After some silence, Kevin snorted and used the arm that was resting on his stomach to cover his face, and his shirt lifted up a little.

"You and Jean are worse than me at communicating."

It made Jean smile audibly and pat Kevin on the arm. Again, Jeremy just watched before lowering his head and fixing his eyes on the floor. The gesture did not go unnoticed, of course.

"You shouldn't be hurt by that,  _ mon soleil _ ," Jean said, for some reason in French.

Kevin removed his arm from his face just enough to see them. Jeremy gasped.

"What?" He said.

"You know what I mean."

He knew, but Jean didn't. Jean certainly didn't know. There was no way.

_ Right? _

"I'm sorry, I think I don't—"

"Let me elaborate," he said back to English. "You don't have to be hurt for whatever reason is hurting you about Kevin and me."

Jeremy choked again, and worse this time. Kevin was suddenly very attentive and sat down in one motion.

"What the hell are we talking about now?" He asked.

Jean simply grinned. His hands were fisted on his lap, and if it weren't for that, neither of the other two would even imagine he was shaking.

"You still don't know?" Jean inclined his head when asked. Kevin shook his head. "And  _ I'm _ the bad one at communicating..."

Both Kevin and Jeremy were paying attention to him, and he sighed and regained his courage before continuing.

"I found this out simply by watching you, it wasn't difficult. You’re not good liars, especially living in the same house 24/7."

" _ What  _ did you find out?"

"Kevin likes Jeremy and Jeremy likes him back," Jean said, completely nonchalant. The other two men flushed violently and startled, and he just raised a hand to interrupt them from saying anything, flushing himself as well as he continued to speak. "It's not just that. Jeremy likes me too, but he thinks I like Kevin, which is not a lie, so he has been inconsistent with himself and has not allowed himself to see that we both reciprocate his feelings. Same thing with Kevin. I feel like a stupid teenager saying all of that, but someone had to do it. "

Jeremy was a shade of red that shouldn't be healthy, and Kevin was about to explode. They were wide-eyed while Jean wore a serene expression.

Suddenly, Kevin started laughing and couldn't stop himself. He laughed a lot until he ran out of air and had to lie on the floor and bury his face in his arms.

"Excuse me?" Jeremy asked him, startled.

"This is—  _ oh my god— _ this is such a Jean thing," Kevin said.

"The fuck that means," Jean frowned.

He still had to calm down from the intense wave of laughter to be able to say anything, so they just waited.

"I've liked you for  _ years _ , Jean. My god, so many years that I can't even count. I don't even like you anymore, I love you, and I'm totally sure of that so please don't look at me and make me regret I said that. And then I started to like Jeremy because he's so good and so easy. It's so easy to live with him, talk to him, and just fall in love with him as well. And then you went to USC, and I was a big walking mess of feelings, which is horrible, I hated every part of it. But at some point, I guess I just accepted that I don't know, you guys would end up together? It makes sense, you know. And that's good. I like you, so of course, I would hope for the best for both of you, and that was the best I could think of, the best I thought possible," Kevin said at once and sighed. "I kept it all for years.  _ Fucking years. _ And of course, you found out the first chance you got."

Jean was confused, very confused. He did not expect this. "Are you mad?"

Kevin looked at him as if he had shot him. "What? No, _my god,_ _no_. You're right. I'm not a teenager, I shouldn't always have to wait for people to literally throw things in my face in order for me to finally understand."

"This is— This is very mature, Kevin. I’m proud."

"Wait a damn minute you two. I'm still processing the part where Jean knew all this," Jeremy interrupted, eyes closed.

Jean laughed softly. "I found out recently,  _ ma petite douce. _ At first, I thought the same as you."

"Hah, this is pretty fucked up. We were just going to fucking wait for us to be with each other and it would never come to anything," Kevin laughed dryly.

"Pretty much."

"Forgive me for asking, but I need to," Jeremy swallowed. "Jean rubbed it all over our face, and, wow, it's perfect, but what are we going to do now?"

Kevin considered for a few seconds and then just looked just as concerned. Jean smiled at him two and simply pulled both of their heads into his lap. They were easily willing.

"What we're going to do now is to be very greedy. I like Kevin, but I like you too, and I don't want to have to choose just one of you, so if it's okay for everyone, we should all date and see where it takes us. "

He was greeted by silence for a while, but Jean was kind of expecting that. It was too much information to process at once.

"Does that mean we can now sleep in Kevin's bed?" It was the first thing Jeremy asked, turning to face the other man lying on Jean's lap.

"Oh, please, I've been dying to ask you this practically since day one," Kevin replied, surprisingly.

They all laughed and Jean ran his hands through their hair before going down to their necks and remaining stroking that area.

"So many people in life and I ended up with two big babies that are very cuddly," he whispered. “Although one of them likes very much to deny it.”

Jeremy hummed in response and said, "Don't lie, you like this."

_ He wasn’t wrong. _

“I very much do, my heart.”

"God, how mushy and sweet you are... I'm dying of diabetes now," Kevin feigned a frown.

Jean pinched his nose and they all laughed, surrounded by the empty room, the freshly painted walls, and a hurricane of feelings now spread and running throughout the apartment.

~

"Neil, you're walking in the wrong direction," Jean warned.

_ "Oh, sorry," _ they heard Neil's voice through the phone speaker.

They were all playing together — ‘all’ being Andrew, Neil, Kevin and Jean — and at that point, it was just a matter of who would lose their shit first.

There was this shooting, war and action game that Kevin had been able to convince Andrew to buy so they could play it once or more, because it should be a good enough activity to kill time, so now they were doing just that.

And Kevin regretted it bitterly.

They had been at this for two and a half hours, and there was still no forecast for improvement.

"We should try and go to another place on the map because it is still indicating eleven survivors but they’re clearly not here— Neil, where are you going?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

_ "Dunno, there's a bush over there and I'm going to hide behind it," _ Neil replied, on the other end of the line.

"That's just for the scenery, you don't really need or have to hide behind."

_ "I was a fugitive for most of my life, don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do in order to not be killed." _

Jean was left without enough words to answer that.

_ "True. Who says Moreau has to lead us, by the way?” _ Andrew asked, in the same monotonous tone as always and along the same call line as Neil.

"We shouldn't be just standing here, we have to move to avoid being caught," Kevin tried to interfere.

_ "That's why I'm hiding behind the bush," _ Neil pointed out.

Jean and Kevin shared a look and sighed, then they moved their game characters in some random direction on the map.

"Andrew, Neil, follow us," Jean asked.

_ "But why?" _ Kevin rolled his eyes when Andrew asked.  _ “Who the hell declared you the leader? I want to go the other way, everyone should come with me.” _

"Whatever! As long as we move  _ somewhere _ . ” Kevin mumbled under his breath and moved his character to follow Andrew’s

_ "Wait a minute, Drew is teaching me the game controls again," _ Neil said.

They sighed and were quiet as they heard little murmurs on the other end of the line. In a moment of distraction, Jean leaned back on the couch, propped his ankle on the opposite knee and squeezed Kevin's thigh with one hand. Kevin leaned towards the touch and approached the man sitting next to him on the couch.

The apartment was quiet and they kept it up for a few moments, just staying close and allowing themselves to enjoy each other's warmth.

"Do you think Jeremy is still sleeping?" Jean asked.

“I don't know, honestly. He said he was going to take a nap but I have no idea how long it’s going to be, so... ”

Jean smiled and stroked his hand over Kevin's thigh.

"So, Kev, I've been thinking," he started to say, and immediately captured Kevin's attention, "I saw this online store that sells some strap-on harnesses and dildos, and I think we could take a look—"

_ "We are still connected," _ Andrew's bored voice came from the cell phone,  _ "so shut up." _

Jean just smiled and Kevin rolled his eyes — the best he could handle without being interfered by the overwhelming feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_ "No, wait, what's the store?" _ Neil asked.

Andrew grunted and Kevin could almost see him with a frown and pretending he wasn't listening while Jean and Neil engaged in a conversation that transited between sex toy options available for them to use with their partners, the hormones they both took and more stuff like that. Andrew scoffed a few times over the course of the conversation but otherwise remained silent.

They managed to return to the game semi-quietly, although Neil's skill was still lacking, Andrew continued to complain that Jean was trying to rule everyone and Kevin was still subtly trying to steal such leadership from both without them noticing. Other than that, everything was great.

Until out of nowhere, they heard a gunshot being fired and Neil screamed. Like, he literally screamed, high-pitched and all. Both Jean and Kevin were a little startled by the sudden agitation, and when they turned their attention back to the TV screen rather than the cell phone resting on the coffee table, the character that belonged to Neil was fleeing away with all the confidence that one could have.

_ "Fuck, Josten," _ Andrew hissed.  _ "Why are you so loud? I'm beside you, you must have just left me with impaired hearing." _

_ "Sorry," _ he hummed.  _ "You don't complain when we're doing stuff, though." _

_ "The moment you yell like that while we're fucking, I'm going to throw you out the window." _

Kevin coughed. "Quoting a very important phrase, 'We are still connected, so shut up."

The two snorted on the other end of the line.

"Okay but like... Neil, you can stop running away... You were the one who shot the shot," Jean said, clearly amused.

" _ Was I? _ " Neil asked.

"Yes. And there's no one around, so you can come back.”

Gradually they were able to harmonize teamwork during the game — although Andrew didn't make it any easier. Their victory came after the eighth match of the day, and Kevin sighed because  _ finally. _

Letting himself get a little distracted, he said, "So, about the strap-on and stuff," he had switched to Japanese so that only Jean could understand. "I agree, we should look."

Jean smiled and risked a look at him out of the corner of his eye, before also switching to Japanese. “I have some things in California, but it’s kinda complicated to get them now, right? So we could look for new ones.”

"Fair."

“I'm sure Jeremy has his stuff too, back in California, maybe. But if I'm not mistaken, he brought his corset with him.”

Kevin gasped slightly. "Jeremy has a corset?"

Jean laughed and turned to Kevin fully on the couch. "Among many other things, yes, he does."

"This is... um... it's really cool," Kevin was certainly  _ not blushing. _

“ _ ‘Cool’ _ is saying little,” Jean smiled mischievously.

They returned to full concentration at the start of another match, long before Jeremy came running down the hall.

"Guys, what if we had a pet?" He said, smiling, as soon as he arrived in the room.

Jean and Kevin frowned at the same time.

_ "What? Isn't Kevin enough?” _ Surprisingly — or not, really —, it was Andrew who spoke.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows and looked at the phone on the table. "Oh, hi, Andrew."

He received no reply, so he just shrugged and looked back at the two men sitting on the couch.

"Why do you want a pet?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

“Because it would be cool. I love animals.”

“Okay, but wouldn't it perhaps be rash to adopt one? At least for a while?"

Jeremy sighed heavily. “Fine. But what about a vegetable garden? Or just some decorative flowers and plants?”

_ "You trust Kevin way too much if you think he can keep plants alive," _ Neil said, nonchalantly.

Jean laughed softly beside Kevin and in return got a pat on the arm.

"But he won't do it alone, so maybe it's possible," Jeremy shrugged.

Kevin still looked impassive in his place on the couch, even while Jeremy's sweet, pitying gaze was on him — which was much more difficult than anything else because his gaze was  _ very  _ convincing.

Not only that but also, suddenly, he started walking towards Kevin and straddled him. Jean opened his eyes wide and smiled, moving to pick up the phone on the coffee table.

"Hey, guys, we're gonna have to go now," was all he said before immediately ending the call and promptly turning off the TV.

Kevin was motionless in place while Jeremy looked at him steadily and moved his arms to wrap his neck. Jean continued grinning and watching them in his place on the sofa.

When just looking at Kevin didn't do any good, Jeremy lowered his mouth to his jaw, earlobe, collarbone, and dragged his teeth down his neck. Kevin took a deep, shaky breath and raised his hands to squeeze Jeremy's thighs. The latter smiled against the warm skin under his mouth and gave it a single bite.

"Kevin, can we buy some plants?" He asked, his voice low and almost purring at the end of the sentence.

"This isn't fair, you know..." Kevin swallowed.

"I'm loving it, please keep going," Jean's voice sounded all but smug.

Jeremy turned to face him and motioned for Jean to approach, which he did willingly. From the look on their faces, Kevin knew it would be a losing battle for him, in every possible way. He could already feel the temperature in the room getting hotter.

Jean  _ fucking crawled _ over to them and knelt on the couch to wrap Jeremy in a very hot kiss. It was just unbelievable. This wasn’t the first time any of them had kissed each other, and it was no less impactful each time. If anything, it was probably more  _ stunning _ as time went by and they became more intimate. Probably Jeremy himself was taken aback by the depth and obscenity of the act, because he stood still for a few seconds before smirking at Jean and kissing him again, harder this time. Kevin was about to pass out — and feeling his cock twitch — with Jeremy still on his lap and watching the whole scene unfold in front of him.

It didn't last long, though, because soon Jeremy turned away from Jean and just stared at the man and smiled, before looking at Kevin again.

"Are we going to buy some plants or am I going to go into the bedroom and finish this only with Jean?" Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jean laughed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Kevin just sighed and held Jeremy's chin with his index finger and thumb.

“ _ Fine. _ But there can't be many, and they all have to fit on the porch,” he said. “You are terrible, you know? You two are.”

“Thank you very much. You’re so easy to convince... Now, shall we go to the bedroom? I've been thinking about what it must be like to fuck behind that smart glass, and the images in my head are just getting better,” Jeremy smirked.

"You, Knox, are hopeless," Kevin murmured as if his body wasn’t tingling from excitement.

Jean just laughed again. "Yeah, you can stay here wasting your time on this small talk," he waved as he got up from the couch and walked away, "And I'll be right there enjoying my time."

That was enough to snap both minds of the other two men, and they were very quick to move on to the bedroom after that.

Kevin was glad to find out that Jeremy wasn’t wrong about the smart glass. It was  _ really good _ to fuck against it.

~

“Okay, we have bromeliads, ZZ plant, Chinese money plant, jade, lamb's ear, philodendron, kalanchoe, African violet, asparagus fern, calathea, phalaenopsis orchid, and begonia… Is something missing?” Jeremy counted on his fingers as he looked around.

Jean and Kevin were panting beside him, after having gone up and down the flights of stairs a few times to get all the plants from the car to the apartment — they preferred not to risk taking the elevator and bumping into several other people.

"I'm sure I remember a time when I said  _ 'you can't bring too many plants' _ and now I'm not sure if the message really reached the recipient," Kevin said, between unsteady breaths.

"But I didn't buy many."

“Jer, there are twelve different types of plants scattered on the apartment's porch, not counting the ones you bought twice. This  _ is _ many."

Jeremy looked at Jean for support, but the latter just gave a small smile and shrugged.

"Now there is no going back, so let's fix everything and you can thank me after your apartment looks beautiful with the new plants," Jeremy said then.

And that phrase made Kevin's stomach turn upside down. Not the entire sentence, but a specific element of it.

_ ‘Your apartment.’ _

It was silly — kinda — because the apartment, technically,  _ was _ his, but he felt a tightness in his chest every time it crossed his mind that Jeremy and Jean, also technically, don't live there.  _ They live in California, fuck, it's not even in the same state. _

This was something that had been in Kevin's head for some time, but he couldn't find in himself what he needed to really talk about, because, again, it was silly.

But then at night, when they were in bed and Jean laid between them and allowed Jeremy to put his face against his neck and Kevin to lay his head on his stomach, Kevin couldn't stop thinking about going back to sleep without the comfort of the two men with him, within his arms reach in bed. Or else, when they all woke up and took turns between hygienic activities in the bathroom, before sitting down in the dining table to have breakfast together, Kevin couldn't stop thinking about waking up again without that disposition.

He didn't want to be alone again. He didn’t want to be without  _ them _ again.

That's how each day started to feel like a countdown instead of anything else, and that was horrible for a very large number of reasons, but mainly because it was so fucking  _ selfish _ . The world is experiencing a pandemic in addition to yet another series of political and social conflicts, and it’s not pleasant or appropriate at all that he is more worried about the future of his relationship than with anything else at all, especially considering those clearly much bigger problems out there.

But even with all that in mind, all Kevin did was clear his throat and say, "Whatever you say..." so Jeremy could at least light his apartment with more of him, even if it was only through those plants.

Jeremy smiled widely and Kevin's chest tightened a little.

“Yes, I say it will be perfect and it is just the truth. Now move on, you two, we have  _ way too many _ things to do,” he drew their attention and moved his hands expansively to indicate the scattered plants and garden tools.

And he was right. They spent the rest of the entire afternoon planting seedlings, exchanging pots of plants, arranging everything to fit on the porch, pruning some leaves, watering everything, cleaning up all the dirt they left behind in the process, and in the end Jeremy wanted to make them all sit in the balcony floor and chat with all the new plants.

"Why?" Kevin asked, not really seeking to talk to a bunch of leaves and flowers.

Jean looked at him as if he was sorry that he didn't keep his mouth shut, and Jeremy immediately started, “There are studies that show that, when talking to a plant, we release carbon dioxide around it. This gas is expelled naturally when we expire and the plants use it as a raw material in photosynthesis, therefore, this amount of carbon dioxide can contribute to healthy photosynthesis of the plant, which will make it grow. What's more, there is a famous video on the internet, which was an initiative by Ikea, where two plants are placed under identical conditions in a primary school, with the difference that one only hears praise all day and the other cursing and criticism. The result is that the one that was treated with praise grew and became exuberant, while the other one dried up, and—”

"What’s the scientific basis for this?" Kevin raised an eyebrow.

Jeremy stared at him and choked on a few words but didn't actually say anything until finally he stopped and pouted. Kevin dropped any complaints immediately and reached out to him, holding Jeremy's two wrists and tugging them to get the other man's attention.

"Sorry... Don't be sad, sunshine," Kevin tried to convince him. "Let's talk to the plants if that will make them better."

Jeremy just looked at him for a few seconds and then grinned. "I'm not sad, you just let yourself be convinced very easily and I do what is necessary," he shrugged and walked to the balcony.

Kevin stood in place and blinked a few times. Beside him, he heard Jean's laughter and soon felt it when hands slid around his waist and hugged him from behind.

"Was he always such a manipulator?" Kevin whispered, laughing softly.

Jean rested his chin on the other man's shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Pretty much, yeah. It’s something that you two have in common.”

"I’m not a manipulator."

“Um, neither does he. Both of you are spoiled and pampered babies, that is. Oh, my poor, poor soul that has to endure such a thing.”

Kevin held Jean's arms around his waist and leaned against the body behind him. He felt the comfort and warmth of that contact, and he clung to it. Jean's chest rose and fell against his back, with steady breaths that quickly matched Kevin's. They stayed just like that, still in place, and enjoying their respective companies. Jeremy's soft voice could be heard from somewhere behind them, and that was a good thing, it was calm.

_ One day it won't be anymore, _ Kevin couldn't help thinking.

Jean was right where he liked it, holding one of his partners under his arms, wrapped around his body. He found comfort in gestures like this, and he would say that as many times as they asked or even if no one asked once. At night, when the three of them laid in Kevin's bed, which had enough space for them to be able to spread out on the mattress if they wanted to, they would always gather in an immense mess of skin, limbs, hair, and sleep as curled as they impossibly could. Most days Jean was in the middle and Kevin and Jeremy organized around him. It was nice, comfortable and it was the right place.

He felt protective about the two men, he liked having them under his embrace and protection.

And that was more than he ever thought he would ever have.

Jean was way too grateful for the two idiots he called his boyfriends, and he had no regrets about it.

Jeremy, on the other hand, couldn't even begin to express how sometimes it looked like he was going to explode with happiness thanks to that relationship — which, honestly, it’s kind of funny if one stops to think that nothing really has changed and they keep treating each other the same way they did before, but with the right affection this time (and the sex and kissing were a nice bonus).

It was good and they deserved it.

Jean took Kevin's hand when they, too, walked out onto the porch and sat on the floor with Jeremy.

"...and my mom said I was a little pest in kindergarten because I did some real shit, you know?" The latter was saying, gesturing while talking to the plants.

Jean snorted, laid his head on Kevin's lap, and put his legs on Jeremy's. “What, possibly, could you have done in kindergarten? Did you let grape juice spill into the lunchbox?”

"Or did you forget to say good morning to one of the children in your class?" Kevin smiled, leaning back and holding his body up with his hands.

Jeremy rolled his eyes at them with fond exasperation. "Although surprisingly, I have already done both of these things, I have also done some much worse things,"

"Um, like what?" Jean asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, so… I was kinda tall compared to the other kids, right? And there was this time when I walked to the door of the kindergarten classroom, managed to reach the lock, opened it, and released a horde of crazy children by the building's corridors. I guess it was a maddening job to get everyone back in the classroom and prevent us from messing up the whole place. ”

Jean laughed. “ _ Damn. _ Alexa, play Criminal by Britney Spears.”

"Yeah, when Britney said  _ 'But mama I'm in love with a criminal' _ we really felt that," Kevin joined him.

“And, oh mama please don't cry, I will be alright. All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the guy,” Jean dramatized, placing one hand over his chest and the other on his forehead, sighing and all that theatrical shit.

Jeremy groaned, rolled his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands.

"You two are the absolute worst, I swear," he said.

Jean shrugged as he could, lying as he was, and Kevin blew a kiss in the air. They stayed in their places on the ground for a long time, talking, laughing, and enjoying the cool breeze and the light of the night sky above them.

No one knew exactly how, but at some point, they found themselves in the middle of a discussion about how people would react if their relationship ever became public.

"Not good, I need to be realistic," Kevin raised his eyebrows. "I mean, I don't know among exy fans… Probably as okay as possible, but between the sponsoring companies and maybe between the management of the teams it would be very negative for us, especially for you who are just starting now in professional exy."

"I don't know if I agree with what you said about the fans, though," Jean said.

“What? Why not?"

Jeremy snorted. “Oh my god, Kev. Do you even look at social media?”

“Yeah, I do. Most of the time."

"Then why do you still ask?" Jeremy looked at him with pure disbelief on his face.

Kevin was silent and just shrugged, still oblivious to whatever that was supposed to mean. Jean sighed and moved just enough to take his phone out of his pocket, and as soon as he had the device in his hands, he typed something, rolled across the page, scanned some texts, and then finally stopped at something.

“I just put your name on twitter’s search and scrolled through the results. Listen to this.  _ ‘Ode to Kevin Day by Cam Ronan, Kevin Day’s little pet. If my life is a sky, Kevin Day is the brightest star; if my life is a garden, Kevin Day is the most beautiful flower; if my life is a song, Kevin Day is the melody; if my life is a barbecue, Kevin Day is the garlic bread; if my life is a pie, Kevin Day is the apple; if my life is a monarchy, Kevin Day is the queen’ _ ,” Jean looked up at Kevin and put the phone away again. "Are  _ these _ the fans you said are going to be okay if the relationship goes public?"

"Spoiler alert: they won't, they'll actually jump on my neck and Jeje's," Jeremy pretended to be whispering.

Kevin laughed and hummed. "Some of them, perhaps. But not all."

"All of them, mon trésor," Jean agreed with Jeremy.

After a long pause, they both smiled victoriously as Kevin couldn't think of anything to answer and just flipped them off.

The hours passed like they were nothing, without them even realizing it. They just talked, talked and talked, until Kevin, for some reason, was talking about how while Pope Gregory IX was in power, he declared that cats were associated with devil worship and had them exterminated across Europe, making himself believe that the disappearance of cats helped rats proliferate and spread the bubonic plague, and Jean and Jeremy just adored and admired him as he spoke.

_ Kevin was going to miss them so much. _

~

Since the first month of quarantine, Kevin had promised himself that he would try as hard as possible to maintain a productive routine whenever he could, just because he knew that if he allowed himself to sink into the couch or bed, he would go on a very fast path to the bottom of the river that was his mind, meaning that it would be increasingly difficult to get up to do even the simplest things. Keeping himself on the move, working, or running at a certain pace was the healthiest thing for Kevin’s sanity, so he needed to do something about it.

Establishing weekly schedules with Jean and Jeremy was an effective way that they found to keep this in the best possible way for the three of them. And it was working well, which was a good thing.

But then Jeremy downloaded  _ TikTok _ .

And in the beginning, it was nothing, he just wanted to see what was the reason for so much excitement about this app, why so many people were suddenly using it so much. That was how, gradually, he began to spend hours lying on the couch, laughing or reacting to the most diverse videos possible. One thing led to another and soon Jean joined him.

As if that weren't enough, the two also started watching what must have been an unhealthy amount of anime at once. Kevin joined them in that part too, because he still wanted to have some time to spend with his partners, after all.

What was just watching and laughing at some videos became learning choreographies and recording a few videos themselves, and before they knew it, Jeremy was everywhere on the apartment recording multiple TikTok’s at all times. At first, he left all videos private, but eventually, he started posting some, always taking care to appear alone in every single one.

So that's how their routine became basically a repeat of  _ waking-eating-TikTok-eating-anime-cuddle- eating-sleeping. _

But even that way, it was kinda fun. Kevin may have underestimated animes at first, but he was very quick to change his mind — Andrew made a point of throwing it in his face. He and Jeremy just accepted all the animes that Jean put for them to watch, and in the end, they ended up liking it.

Plus, watching Jeremy recording TikTok videos was interesting, to say the least. Especially when he recorded some dance. On these occasions, Jean and Kevin just sat somewhere out of the reach of the camera and enjoyed the view. After all, it’s very attractive to watch your partner moving their waist and hips, twerking, dancing slowly, biting their lip while concentrating to remember the choreography, tossing their hair, and,  _ oh, how incredibly good he is at that, he probably should try to use that talent to— _

“Holla, gentlemen. What, by any chance, wast thee two looking at?” Jeremy posed to speak, and both Jean and Kevin raised their eyebrows.

"What the fuck?" Jean asked, smiling.

“What is't, Mr. Moreau? I'm just asking a simple questioneth.”

Kevin snorted and rubbed his eyes. "Shakespearean dialogue makes me tired."

“Oh? Shall thee react the same way if 't be true I talketh filthy to thee?” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows as he said this.

Jean and Kevin didn’t know exactly what was going on there, but needless to say, that phrase was enough to make them sit up straight and look at Jeremy waiting for him to speak, right?

Well, that's what happened.

"Give us your best, sunshine," Kevin grinned.

“Gentlemen, you have't no idea how difficult tis to liveth in the same house as thee. I've been suffering from this for months. Watching Kevin walketh around shirtless or almost naked and without any shame on his visage. Watching Jean pose as a fucking god without coequal having the intention. Thee two art pure worketh of art,” Jeremy said, as he approached them, and then he whispered, “All I wanted wast to beest kissed hard, sucked, crushed by thy thighs, licked, hath used, destroyed by thy ferocity...”

Kevin swallowed.

Jean smirked, licked his lips and spoke in a low, husky tone, "What else?"

Both other two men looked at him and Kevin swore he could pass out right there.

Jeremy blushed and bit his lower lip. “I already bethought of many things, thee knoweth. Being choked or tied up, maybe a little bit of masochism, being filled by the two of thee in every possible lodging, or both of thee at the same time in the same lodging... A gross amount of things.”

“You see, it should be funny to hear you talking like that, but my cock is a  _ son of a bitch—, _ ” Kevin stopped himself to click his tongue and shake his head.

"I appreciate thee enjoying the showeth, Mr. Day," Jeremy smirked. “This is my secret hobby, I am exceptional in archaic English. Well, as valorous as one can beest.”

He smiled victoriously and Jean laughed. Jeremy gave each of them a smacking kiss before going back to where his cell phone was positioned and browsing the app.

Yeah, it might not be following the routine Kevin expected, but it was just as good and he would be lying if he said he didn't like it. Plus, the other two men were annoying him enough to not allow him to have time to sink into that river. This was good, it was good. Kevin was fine.

And yet he couldn't get the same thought out of his head.

_ And when this was over? _

_ Stop, Kevin, this is silly, _ he scolded himself.

_ Right _ .

He sank into the stool he was sitting on and sighed deeply. Beside him, Jean looked him up and down and put an arm around Kevin's shoulder, who leaned in a little more to facilitate contact. They were silent as they just watched Jeremy do another choreography until Jean started to stare at Kevin and move his fingers across his face as if analyzing carefully.

He finally got up from his own bench and walked into the kitchen without saying a word. Kevin just watched his back as he walked away and then disappeared out of sight before appearing again with a glass of water.

"I can tell you have something on your mind,  _ mon trésor, _ " he said, passing the glass to the other man and looking too deeply into his eyes. “It's okay if you don't want to talk, though. Drink some water and then I'll give you a massage, does it sound good? ”

His accent was strong, although Kevin wasn't exactly sure why. He hadn't just woken up or was stressed out, nervous, or anything that might get him overwhelmed.

Sometimes Kevin wondered if Jean could manipulate his own accent at times like this — when Kevin didn't seem okay — because he knew how much it affected the other man.

If that was the case, it was quite effective, honestly.

"Yeah, I think it sounds good," Kevin replied.

He accepted the glass that Jean was offering and drank all the cold water at once, immediately placing the glass on a counter and stretching.

Jean was concerned. He knew that Kevin had something bothering him and he knew it would be better to talk about it — and that it probably wouldn't end until he did — but, as he said, he would never pressure Kevin to do so, so the alternative would be to wait.

They went to the suite together and the first thing Jean did was open the windows to let in some breeze and natural light. He and Kevin snuggled on the bed and lay in the snuggest position they could — Jean leaned against the headboard and made room for Kevin to establish his own body between his legs, resting his head on the other man's belly.

It was a good thing, that moment when they were escaping the outside world and having a pleasant time. Really good.

"What can I do for you,  _ mon amour? _ " Jean asked through just a whisper.

Kevin took a slow breath. "In fact, massage was a cool idea."

Jean smiled and raised his hands to the other man's face. He lifted Kevin's head so that his chin rested on Jean's stomach and looked at him as the latter began to slowly and carefully massage the smooth skin of his face.

It was very sweet and suddenly that moment was  _ too much. _

Kevin melted under the touch and closed his eyes, just enjoying it. He thought of comfort, affection, trust, desire, care, and, yeah, love. He was happy where he was, and maybe that was what was draining his energy.

Again, the same stupid thought.

_ Are you ready for when they leave? _

"I have a terrible, irrational fear of being alone," Kevin said, without thinking about it too much. Jean hummed and intensified the movements on his skin, involving them more and more in an intimate heat. He didn't press, however, and maybe that's exactly why Kevin went on, "That's what is worrying me, even though I know it shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't it?"

"Because it's  _ silly _ ."

“Except it isn't. Your concerns are valid, Kev, and this is fine.”

Kevin sighed. That didn't change what he thought, but it was okay enough for him to consider for five long minutes the idea of talking or not. He should probably do that, after all, it was the healthiest, certainly.

_ Communication, Day, you know that communication is important. It may have taken you years to learn this properly but now you know. _

Kevin sighed again. "Can you call Jeremy, please?"

Jean nodded and slowly pulled away to go and do what was asked. His absence was unpleasant, but, fortunately, it was not lasting. Kevin was still lying on the mattress when the two men appeared in the suite and joined him on the bed. They all joined in a huge tangle of three people and were silent for a few minutes.

Jean had probably said something because Jeremy had a careful and worried face.

"The past few days I've been worried as fuck about... how things are going to be later, you know," Kevin murmured.

"What things, specifically?" Jean asked.

“Us. I know it is—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Jeremy cut him off sharply. “This concern is valid. Things now are not as they were before the quarantine and after the quarantine, they will not be as they are now. We’d really have to talk about it at some point, so it wasn’t a question of ‘yes or no’ but ‘now or later’, you know?”

Kevin nodded and bit his lower lip in concern. "Yeah."

"What is worrying you the most,  _ mon chérie? _ " Jean considered.

Kevin cleared his throat. Knowing that communication is the best alternative doesn't exactly make it easier. "You know, eventually you will have to go back to California..."

Jeremy bit his bottom lip and looked at Jean, before smiling at Kevin.

"Yeah, about that..." He said, looking again at Jean for help.

“Jeremy and I talked a little while ago about this. We indeed have a place in California, but, you see, Kevin... What was the reason we came to Denver in the first place?”

"You two came to check some team contracts."

"Yes. Teams in Denver,” Jean nodded.

Jeremy tilted his head and smiled. “This means that changing the state was already on our list of possibilities. All the local teams that we looked at were good, and anyone of them, whichever one we choose, would be great," and then he bit his lip again. “But, you know, we can't invite ourselves to your apartment. I feel bad enough doing it now, there’s no way I would do that again.”

"Besides, moving in together is a big step and we don't want to put pressure on you."

"Yeah, so we're going to go back to California when this is all over, but only until we can look at some offers on houses or apartments, and at some point, we'll be back in Denver for good."

Kevin had to blink repeatedly.

"Are you crazy?" He said, and both Jean and Jeremy frowned curiously. “We are, literally with all possible literalities, living together and confined in the same house for months.  _ Months _ . We can't go out so it increases our time together, which should make it more exhausting or difficult, but we never had a problem with it. And you help with the division of monthly bills. What makes you think that living together is different from that?”

They were silent for long minutes.

“Exactly, do you see? So looking for another place for you would be a waste,” Kevin said, stood up and started to pace around the room. “I just think that… I'm used to it now. To us every day. Too used, you know? This is kinda shitty because I feel like an idiot with really being affected by that kind of thing.  _ Kevin Day freaking the fuck out because of the two boyfriends? _ I mean, in what world have you imagined this happening? Because I was certainly caught off guard,” he started to breathe at shorter intervals, “This is even unfair to you and selfish on my part because I should give you a right to choose, that's the truth. It's just not easy—"

He stopped abruptly when he felt two hands holding his shoulders. Kevin turned to find Jeremy standing just inches away and looking at him warily, now no longer holding him.

“First, breathe. Physical contact or not?” Jeremy asked, holding both hands in the air where they were visible.

Kevin watched with wide eyes.

_ Ravens, ravens, ravens, ravens. _

_ They would forcefully stop me if I was on the verge of a crisis. _

"No," he replied. "Sorry."

"It's okay, don't apologize for that," Jeremy remained with his hands spread and visible. "Okay then follow the movement of my hand in time with your breath."

Swallowing, Kevin nodded. Jeremy slowly closed his fist, held it, and slowly opened it again. The other man followed.  _ Closed, held and opened. Again. Closed, held and opened. _

They repeated this until Kevin's breath was no longer alarming.

"Can I do something else to calm you down?" Jeremy asked.

"I want to drink. I want to drink so badly,” he sighed. "Please don't let me do this."

"We are not going to, Kev," Jean spoke this time. "What is really affecting you here?"

Kevin chewed the inside of his mouth and crossed his arms tightly. He knew what was affecting him, he always did.

_ Riko, a fucking ghost now, still had  _ **_that_ ** _ influence on him. _

“As I told you, I don't want to be alone. I'm always afraid that people will leave me as soon as they get the chance, and I don't trust myself alone, I wanted to but I can't," Kevin fixed his gaze on the empty wall. "Maybe this is not healthy, but it is no less true, so..."

"Babe," Jeremy called, his voice soft and overflowing with something warm and welcoming, "We're not going anywhere."

Kevin looked at him. Blurry and distant but gradually returning to focus.

A part of his mind was saying that it was ridiculous, that he was being ridiculous.

He heard that part.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to feel—"

_ Obligated, compelled, pressed, forced... _

“Kevin, you're right, okay? We are already practically living together. It's okay to make it official as soon as things settle down again and we can  _ actually talk _ about it,” Jean caught his eye. “We  _ will _ talk about it calmly later, okay? But now, in this very moment, how about we just appreciate the fact that none of us are going anywhere?”

"Really?" Kevin asked.

" _ Really _ ."

"We swear," Jeremy said.

_ None of us are going anywhere. _

_ Really. _

_ We swear. _

Kevin knew that the problem wasn't solved, and most likely he would find himself thinking about it all again.

But for the time being, something was reassuring about those words, so he allowed himself to cling to them.

_ I'm not going anywhere either. _

_ Not this time. _

_ I promise. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far, I really hope you enjoyed it. See you again next time.
> 
> Don't forget that authors love kudos and comments.
> 
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